Editor's note: Finding the love of your life isn't always easy. Just ask self-help guru Gabrielle Bernstein, author of May Cause Miracles, who tied the knot this past year. Bernstein is the first to admit that getting to this point took work. Here she shares her story of how she got rid of what was holding her back and cleared the way for a happy, loving relationship.
As a newlywed, I've had the opportunity to reflect on my relationship to my new husband and honor how far we've come. We've been together for nearly seven years. The first two years of our relationship were very different from today. We were both at difficult turning points in our lives, and I believe we came together at that time so we could challenge one another to change and grow. After the first two years, we split peacefully.
When we broke up, we chose to be great friends. As friends we were able to drop all the false pretenses of our romantic status—we gave ourselves the chance to be truly authentic and have fun with each other. The year we spent as friends was when we really fell in love. I never intended to get back together with him, but as we grew closer in our friendship, we felt a strong pull to reunite as romantic partners. It became clear that we were meant to continue our lives together. After a year apart, we made the commitment to get back together, and we married a few years later.
I believe that marriage must be built on shared beliefs and intentions. It doesn't matter how alike you are; what matters most are your shared morals and beliefs. If you are hanging on to negativity and bad experiences, like so many of us do, you may be unknowingly projecting fear instead of love.
NEXT: How I Got Rid of My Relationship Baggage »
Jamie Collins/Jamie Collins Photography & Clint Parish/Parish Portrait Design (page 1); courtesy of Gabrielle Bernstein (pages 2 - 3)
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